minuit. et l’insomnie (?)

i was planning to sleep early tonight. early as in,…before midnight. preferably eleven, to be precise.

it is now twenty minutes past midnight, i’m sitting in my room. on the floor, at my favourite spot: by the heater. i like leaning on the heater, i like the warmth it gives on my back. you know, it feels as if someone is hugging you from behind. (dear readers, an ‘awww’ response would be more appreciated instead of ‘woman, y u no find a man?’. thanks)

watched fight club last night (actually since it’s technically tuesday, that means two nights ago). my second time after six years, i think. it’s scary to think the extent to which being insomniac can destroy you almost completely. like a boss -sorry i mean, like a tyler durden.

being an “on-off” insomniac, i suppose there is no chance i’d turn into ed norton’s character. apart from passing out once (luckily in my own room), by far i think the worst effect of my sleep deprivation is forgetting how to work on the microwave.

hm. time to (try to) hit the hay. good night.

raynata:

Jakarta Cathedral: My 1st visit.

i may not be a worshipper of any religion, but i do believe in a Divine intervention. i like coming to pray-houses when it’s empty. have myself a peaceful solitude. a solemn gratitude, never fails to boost the mood. have a good sunday, blessed people :)

soap-lobster:

Jakarty City

kabut, membalut kalut. lanjut cemberut, kerap berharap. tidak siap, disergap rindu yang rupanya mengendap-ngendap. oh, inilah jakarta. yang buram tapi tak juga suram. entah bejat atau hebat, hasratku merambat. dari kepala sampai dada.

awesomeness level: ASIAN

so, i managed to go through two decades without getting pregnant, using drugs, being expelled from school, fighting with my parents, getting into a dramatic cat fight with friends….yep, i guess that is worth celebrating for!

thursday, january 26 2012. finally twenty. TWO-ZERO.

so the day started with a squeaky surprise from my beyond-awesome flatmates at midnight. (yes, i said it was ‘squeaky because of the squeaky stairs to my room at the attic, which means that i could actually listen to their footsteps as they were coming in. LOL. but still, i find it surprising! i thought they were gonna use the bathroom LOLOLOLOLOL. thank you, matt, abbie, and windy!)

(cutting the cake with gusto, indeed. thanks for taking this pic, matt! and anak labsky, YOI BRO ITU BAJU BINTAMA!)

yes, chocolate cake at midnight. one was so ready to use this day to eat as many fatty foods as possible. stuffed, nearly killed to death by chocolate, we spent an hour watching City of God. (it’s a mindfuckingly awesome movie, you should totally watch it)

then bed.

the rest of the days went almost like usual, the only difference being the amount of birthday wishes i received that day (d’oh), some friends at school said it personally, me likey. while some also said it through sms, whatsapp, twitter and facebook, me lovey some witty messages…such as this:

some messages on the cards are also lovely. such as this, from the rest of the ForeverAlone house’ people (my flatmates ;p):

a fan of mine (yes, i’m not being cocky here. he, himself admitted of being a fan of my writings -not of the writer. hahaha) created this kinda-sorta-maybe scary myth about cats and death which turned out to be a hoax made just to ‘ruin’ my birthday mood. hahaha dammit abang, you got me! penggemar macam apa ini? ayo kirimin kopi acehnya!

my best friend of 14 years even dedicated a post on her tumblr. whoa, dude…one does not simply forget that kind of effort.

coolness. defined.

thank you thank you thank you thank you.

then party.
yeah right. as if.
being a party veteran (so long, those crazy nights in high school!), i chose a more ‘intimate’ activity: EATING. hahaha. i decided to treat my closest goldsmiths friends a dinner in ed’s diner in soho, the one opposite waxy o’ connor (if you haven’t been there already, this place is worth visit. it used to be a church, but today it’s one of the coolest bars in london, IMO.)

thank you, 谢谢, cảm ơn bạn, 감사합니다, terima(ke)kasih, FRIENDZZZ!

one and a half hour later and there we were, stuffed and nearly dead by burgers, cheese, and mouth-gasmic MILKSHAKES.

no shit, epic meal time! (this hasn’t include jun-eun-joyce’s meals btw)

the night was young and so were we ;p but the grannies and grandpas (and not to mention, the overdosed tummy-monsters) in all of us seemed to force us to call it a night (IT WAS….7.30pm-ish?!) so…we….went home.

watched the rest of City of God, replied some more wishes…and there went my first day of official ‘adulthood’.

and so far, it’s going good :)

so these are what i got for my birthday from everyone: friends and family.

i love them all, but…gotta admit that my favourite present is the customized tumbler with pictures of my friends. it’s simply epic. LOVE IT. A LOT.

LOL. michael’s face is such an attention grabber indeed.
ingrid’s message: Forever Alone No More. Soon.—> bangkeeee :))))
nicole, my bitchhhh hahaha. awesome hair!
love abbie’s face and peeking jun! hahaha

thank you thank you thank you.

yesterday was beyond legendary. awesomeness level: ASIAN (pun intended, yes LOL)

okay, let’s move on to the cheesy-but-true part:

you see, i’m not the type of person who gets excited on their birthdays and i can’t say any better how the idea of having a birthday party scares me. but all of those greetings, presents, surprises (and this year…it’s been the third year in a row that i got birthday surprise! *holding my tears*), and simply the presence of YOU people….i just can’t thank you enough. i feel blessed.

you see, blessing is….the awesome moment when you have the best people to be your best friends.

life is pretty. so…adulthood? challenge accepted!

good night and be good, good people!
i love you!

and this is it, @diendac…eleven days later.

OHEMJIIIH. my ‘twinzy’, dizzydc:”))) (remember this post? it’s that girl who i talk about)

THANK YOU. TERIMA KASIH. KAMSA HAMNIDA. OBRIGADO. SYUKRAN. GRAZIE. DANKE. NUHUN.

jiseuz! (ceritanya ‘jesus!’ tapi sunda style *haha naon) 14 years of friendship yooo. 3.5/5 of our lifetime! that is a looong time. even, seal and heidi klum’s marriaga lasted only half as long hahahaha!

fourteen years huh. kalo ini anak, dia udah jadi anak band smp nih. hmm.

oh tararengkyu for the prayers. i really hope your prayers will be granted, i know for sure if I’M the one who pray, my prayers will be granted because doa orang-orang yang tertindas (tertindas cinta *EAAAAAA *bek, masih mau jadi temen aku kan bek?) itu dikabulkan. but anyway, thanks! now allow me to comment on those prayers:
- health: THANK YOU, i need energy so much, been very lazyyy and looking for my spirit like primus yustisio (mana spiritnyaa?)
- wealth: BITTE! yes yes yes, uang bukan yang terpenting memang, tapi perlu. #azeek
- happiness: MERCI! and yes, they are already making me happy! i’m so blessed!
- love: hmm…not sure if i have to thank you on this. hahaha! *i do have some stories though, skype skype skype asap!*
- career: XIE XIE. and btw, i’m still considering MTV Singapore lho hahahahaha. I’M COMING UTT!!! (i don’t care if he’s gay, he’s still my first celebrity crush! hahahaha)
- looks: (LOL trueee) KAM SIAA lah! thanks for the compliment, how do you like my 5 coloured-hair? cos mcfly would be proud.
- etc: aaa kabek, TERIMA(KE)KASIH!

omigoddess!

i love the crosswords, brings back memories! so glad that this means WE BOTH still remember!

okay, so here’s the answer then:

ACROSS
1. monyet (eh tapi harusnya kambing loh. kita kan lahirnya sebelom imlek tahun 92 hehehe)
2. smartyboy (OMAGAAAH, bahkan aku ga inget kita pernah bikin smartyboy stupidoboy!)
3. SOBARIAH! (masih ada dendam makalah narkoba hahahahaha)
4. rinomulat (penembakan paling gak modal dan penolakan paling awkward hahaha)
6. paniqua
8. robbie
11. roller coaster! (too bad, the file is no longer there :( it was a great animation movie! haha)

DOWN
3. SILVER! (anjriiiitttttt! REGINA!)
4. Room on the Third Floor!
7. Chakra (i think the question should be: a good friend of ours who once threatened to jump from sabuga! *ngakaksampejomblo*)
8. nicole
9. benci (CINDY! KAMU BENCI SAYA YAA?!)
10. gregmarvin. (a very crispy troll. remember our victim? hahaha)
12. TBI!
13. axlgagal. (sometimes, i wish we can do it all over again. especially the part with the band practice, it was so cool. we were such rock stars!)
14. january. (still remember my question: kok bisa ya, kita cuma beda 10 hari tapi beda zodiak? ahahahaha)
15. pads, helmets, balls. (one of the most influential albums during our ababil years! oh yeaah!)
16. maya warsono!!! (*NGAKAK GULING GULING*)

oh, we did so many LEGEND-wait for it-DARY stuff!

THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU MORE THAN I MISS MY FUTURE JODOH!

aaww dammit i’m officially an ‘auntie’. hahaha. turned 20 today, by far the sweetest birthday. more details tomorrow morning, but all i can say now is that FRIENDZZZ, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

(michael, thanks for the picture -you make my arms look small, THANKS. LOL- also thanks for the cake!)

新年快乐

picture by: abbie’s cool camera

dalam rangka imlek, gue dan para fletmets memutuskan buat bikin perayaan kecil-kecilan. mahasiswa style gitulah, masak sendiri (belajar dari pengalaman setelah ngerayain imlek taun lalu di china town, yang ternyata membahayakan kesehatan dompet masing-masing).

jadi inilah hasil dari kombinasi hari minggu, 4 jomblo dan 5 jam di dapur: ‘gule’ (ekspektasi awalnya bakutteh, sampe tiba-tiba nuangin santen. hahaha ciamik sekali si koh mamat), lumpia vietnam, oseng sawi tomat, salad buah, dan fortune cookies.

dan seperti remaja kekinian berinstagram pada umumnya, wajib kan buat ngelunasin ibadah foto. fufufu.

#RemajaKekinian #edisiLomo #sokindie #sokngeblur #padalpayahaja #EAAA

#RemajaKekinian #edisisokfilter #ekspektasipopart #lefail

tenang brur ada kok, versi normalnya.
yoi cing, ada bee cheng hiang di baliknya fortune cookies!

sederhana, pasti. ah tapi selama ada teman, apa sih yang gak enak di hati? *azeek*

萬事如意, 吉慶有餘, 大展鴻圖, 迎春接福!

ohrednoseohclown:

Petak 9, Jakarta, Indonesia

新年快乐! semoga di tahun naga air ini hidup kita akan sefantastis naga dan rejeki akan mengalir selancar air :)

jeeeorgiaaa:

thirty things to stop doing to yourself: as maria robinson once said, “nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” nothing could be closer to the truth. but before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. here are some ideas to get you started:

1. stop spending time with the wrong people. – life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. if someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. you shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. and remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. stop running from your problems. – face them head on. no, it won’t be easy. there is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. we aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. that’s not how we’re made. in fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. this is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. stop lying to yourself. – you can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
4. stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. yes, help others; but help yourself too. if there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. stop trying to be someone you’re not. – one of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. don’t change so people will like you. be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. stop trying to hold onto the past. – you can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. stop being scared to make a mistake. – doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. you end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – we may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. we all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. but you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. stop trying to buy happiness. – many of the things we desire are expensive. but the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – if you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. you have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
11. stop being idle. – don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. evaluate situations and take decisive action. you cannot change what you refuse to confront. making progress involves risk. period! you can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. stop thinking you’re not ready. – nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – relationships must be chosen wisely. it’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. there’s no need to rush. if something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – in life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. but most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. stop trying to compete against everyone else. – don’t worry about what others doing better than you. concentrate on beating your own records every day. success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. stop being jealous of others. – jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  ask yourself this:  “what’s something i have that everyone wants?”
17. stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. you may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. but reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. you’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. so smile! let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. stop holding grudges. – don’t live your life with hate in your heart. you will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. forgiveness is not saying, “what you did to me is okay.” it is saying, “i’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! and remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. if you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. stop letting others bring you down to their level. – refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – the time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. the best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. stop trying to make things perfect. – the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
24. stop following the path of least resistance. – life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. don’t take the easy way out. do something extraordinary.
25. stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – it’s okay to fall apart for a little while. you don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. you shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. the sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. stop blaming others for your troubles. – the extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. when you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. stop trying to be everything to everyone. – doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. but making one person smile CAN change the world. maybe not the whole world, but their world. so narrow your focus.
28. stop worrying so much. – worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. one way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “will this matter in one year’s time? three years? five years?” if not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – focus on what you do want to happen. positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. if you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. stop being ungrateful. – no matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

older by ten days, @diendac turns twenty today

HEY KABEK!

So my twin sister is finally hitting the big two zero today. CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING OLD! LOL.

Oh yeah,

Just like the past five years, I’m sorry I can’t be there on your birthday. It’s not on purpose, blame it on the distance. I also apologize for my absences in your other epic moments and for not having the time just to meet up and catch up when I was in town. Sorry sorry hampura abdi!

But anyway, regardless of the distance and the lack of communication that comes as a result of it, you should know that you were, are, and will always have been MY…

Whoa can you believe it, 14 years (and counting) of friendship with no drama (let’s keep it this way ;p)! I’ll never forget all the stuff we’ve done, from balap nulis, jodoh-jodohan, masak-masakan (remember gigor ginger goreng?) ngecet kursi pake sambel, kecebur sawah, being a VJ (VJ Dan-VJ Lee! OMFG), made movies (check it out here), main band, jadi kaya karena lomba spelling….great memories, THANK YOU!
I believe each of us, we’ve best-friended other people along the way as well but still, we still hold each other’s record for longest drama-less best-friendship! Cheers to that.

And on this special day of your official transition into adulthood (adOLDhood HAHAHA), I can only hope that…

All the best in your studies (I honestly still find it amazing that you chose to do biology considering how much you hated that subject way back throughout primary school-junior high school) and future career/endeavours! Good luck on finding Mr. Right -as if you haven’t already ;p LOL you’re always better in that area- and may you have a glorious love life filled with everlasting romance, passion, companionship, intimacy…(YES, I myself cannot believe I just typed those things). Wishing you a healthy, happy, epic life where you always feel blessed and surrounded by the amazing people (I believe that the latter has already taken place, you have such loving family and kick-ass bestfriends, don’t ever forget that!)

Am quoting Ricky Martin here, LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA!
May the force be with you, oh dear Kembarku. Peace and Joy, Love and Light!

(it might not be obvious in the pic but yes, I am now the girl with five colours in her hair).